Stages of an Attack
The tools to counter predator strategies are based on their methods of approach, and the stages before the attack. There is a process in which predators choose their target and test their boundaries before they attack. Each stage also corresponds to the target's level of safety or ability to escape. Stages 1 to 5 are commonly done by predators who rely on luring their targets, while predators who prefer to use sudden violence generally skip Stages 2-3 and proceed to Stages 4 and 5 after target selection.
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Strategic predators choose easy, low-risk targets: those who look unimposing and distracted. A meek, timid, or polite target is unlikely to draw attention or resist if attacked, and an unaware target is easy to attack through sudden violence.
In contrast, the least likely, high-risk target is the person who seems physically/verbally capable of resistance and who is aware of their surroundings. Displaying confidence, strength and awareness may not spare you from all unwelcome interactions, but it can discourage some predators from pursuing you as a target in the first place. Note that not all predators are strategic, as some still attack indiscriminately regardless if a target appears high-risk.
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Once the predator has decided on the target, they move on to Stage 2, "The Interview," in which the predator tries to gain trust and test boundaries.
Rapport is built via charm, which can range from giving you compliments, or offering/asking for assistance. The purpose of “The Interview” is for the predator to evaluate if you are a viable target based on your reaction. If you seem cautious, they will try to ease your discomfort. If you comply, they move on to the next stage. Your goal is to be assertive in refusing further contact and distancing yourself (e.g., leaving a conversation if a person continues to ask intrusive questions).
For predators such as traffickers and partner abusers, “The Interview” is also a chance to uncover the vulnerabilities of their target which can be used to control them in the future.
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If a target is unable to refuse the initial verbal advances in “The Interview,” the predator escalates to invading physical/personal boundaries (e.g., moving close, hugging, making sexual advances). If the target does not escape, resist, or show little resistance at this stage, they are more vulnerable to greater danger.
Even in the case of romantic partner intimacy, you have the right to set and state your boundaries. Pay attention to your partner's response: if they ignore you or insist on only doing what they want, your partner does not respect your boundaries and may escalate their behavior.
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Isolation is a key factor for a successful attack. Targets can be lured, threatened or followed from one (usually public) location to an isolated area (e.g., room, car, empty parking lot, or hallway), where the assault can occur without interference from witnesses, and with limited or no method of escape for the target. The predator attacks once they determine that they will not be interrupted and all exits have been sealed (e.g., perpetrator confines target in a room with locked doors).
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This is the deadliest stage as the physical violence occurs in full force. Avoid the danger zone as much as possible because escape or help is never guaranteed.
LONG RANGE (THE SAFE ZONE) If a target is physically close to a predator (e.g., within their line of sight, arm's reach), they are in potential danger. In the first stages, targets can control their proximity to the predator. The long-range, or "Safe Zone," is where targets have the most chance to escape and prevent damage: it means that upon the initial encounter, the sooner the target can distance themselves from the predator, the safer they will be.
MID-RANGE: The end of “The Interview” will determine if you are still a viable target: a resistant target may discourage the predator from continuing the interaction, while a passive target will encourage the predator to breach physical boundaries.
CLOSE RANGE (DANGER ZONE) Never risk "testing" limits with someone ignoring your boundaries and exhibiting red-flag behaviors because, unlike moral people, predators have no limits.
POSSIBLE DEVIATIONS: Some predators skip the "The Interview" process and breach boundaries without the target's knowledge (e.g., predator drugs their target's drink without their consent). Other predators refuted in "The Interview" may resort to violence instead of leaving and finding a more passive target. What's important is that you are aware and have the tools to address a situation at any stage.
R E N E R G R A C I E
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• de Becker, Gavin. "The Gift of Fear." Dell Publishing. 1998.
• Miller, Rory. "Meditations on Violence." YMAA Publishing Centre. 2008.
—-. "Facing Violence." YMAA Publishing Centre. 2011.
—-. “Conflict Communication: A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication.” YMAA Publishing Centre. 2015.
• National Task Force on Trafficking of Women and Girls in Canada. “‘No More’ Ending Sex-Trafficking in Canada.” Canadian Women’s Foundation. 2014.
• Navarro, Joe and Marvin Karlins. "What Every Body Is Saying." HarperCollins. 2008.
• Perrin, Benjamin. “Invisible Chains: Canada’s Underground World of Human Trafficking.” Viking Canada. 2010.
• Warshaw, Robin. "I Never Called it Rape." Harper Perennial. 2019.