Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn
PHYSIOLOGICAL SIGNS OF CONFLICT RESPONSES
•Rapid heartbeat and breathing: the body is preparing itself with more oxygen in case of a sudden response to danger
•Pale or flushed skin: blood flow is decreased to the surface areas and increased to the brain, torso, legs, and arms
•Loss of fine motor activity: tense muscles, trembling, difficulty controlling hands or feet
•Change of perception: sharper or blurry vision, seeing things in slow motion, seeing objects further or closer than they actually are
•Impaired hearing: deafness, muffled hearing
•Repetitive/rhythmic behavior: tapping or bouncing legs, hands, or fingers
Beliefs are one factor that affects our behavior during conflict; the human body is another. The brain controls the body's reactions through the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex: the limbic system is the subconscious part that responds to our experiences (i.e., what we see, hear, feel, taste, and smell) while the prefrontal cortex is the conscious, rational side that thinks, plans and makes decisions. When a person experiences a verbal or physical threat, the limbic system is responsible for the immediate and unconscious bodily reactions based on stimuli and memory, with the intention of prioritizing survival. It releases stress hormones to minimize control in the prefrontal cortex and focus on the body's ingrained reflexes and behaviors: the fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses.
-
The fight response is the limbic system's use of aggression for survival. We can show aggression through:
• PHYSICAL RESPONSES (e.g., glaring, puffing out the chest, invading personal space, eye-rolling, crossing arms, pushing, striking, throwing things, spitting)
• VERBAL RESPONSES (e.g., insults, threats, sarcasm)
A person's socialization and disposition to aggression can affect the type of "fight" response. For example, after being insulted, a person can respond with either a verbal or physical response (oftentimes, both). Since there are practical and legal consequences to acting on one's rage, it is crucial to choose the appropriate fight response for any given situation.
-
If the target cannot avoid or stop a threat by fighting, another option is the flight response which is done through:
• RUNNING/AVOIDING (e.g., leaving a party to avoid a creepy hugger in attendance)
• CREATING BARRIERS (e.g., extending one’s arm to create distance between yourself from an attempted hug)
Targets tend to lean away or set up barriers between themselves and their threat instead of “fleeing.” This is especially used to avoid explicitly dealing with a non-stranger threat.
-
The earliest human survival strategy is to freeze in the presence of danger. Since movement attracts attention, holding still or playing dead was necessary to become unnoticeable or unseen to animal predators. Today, we unconsciously still use the freeze response. Freezing also acts as a defense mechanism to decrease the person’s experience of the attack. When the defense circuitry of the brain recognizes the futility of escape, the following "freeze" reflexes can take over:
• TONIC IMMOBILITY: When the person is paralyzed in fear and is unable to move, speak or scream, yet the mind is still fully conscious of what is happening.
• COLLAPSED IMMOBILITY: When the heart rate lowers and blood pressure drops, resulting in the person becoming faint and then unconscious.
• DENIAL: Denial momentarily protects the victim from the pain or shame of the attack (e.g., "It's just a nightmare", “This isn’t happening”, “It’ll be over soon”)
• IRRELEVANT INFORMATION: When random memories and thoughts flood the mind to distract a person from their attack (e.g. survivors suddenly remember specific moments or details from past or recent experiences)
-
When fight, flight, or freeze fails, another reaction is to fawn, in which targets try to appease the threat to avoid conflict or minimize escalation. The fawn response is especially common when the target is in conflict with a non-stranger perpetrator or authority figure. Fawn responses can include the following emotional and psychological responses:
• IGNORING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES: Agreeing to whatever the other person asks of you, even at the expense of your values, health, and safety
• PEOPLE PLEASING: showing affection, praise or offering assistance to the threat
• CODEPENDENCY: seeking approval from the threat, or taking the blame to keep the peace
Many survivors who experience the freeze or fawn responses during a physical attack, are wrongfully judged for “encouraging” the assault to happen because they "did not fight back." This reaction is wrong and harmful as in every attack, the responsibility lies on the perpetrator for initiating it, and not on the target for ending or escaping it. Targets can only resist if they are physically and mentally prepared, but they should not be judged for not being able to in the moment. It is important to understand these unconscious biological responses to avoid unfair and cruel accusations against survivors and targets. What’s also important to note is that people’s responses to conflict can change depending on the circumstances as not all conflicts are the same (e.g., a person who leaves during a verbal confrontation with a family member can be the same person who fights back against a violent carjacker).
Although these responses are mostly unconscious, training can improve a person’s ability and willingness to choose the best conflict response in specific conflict. While freezing can still happen even after being conditioned to fight or run, it may not completely impede a target's ability to respond. When a person experiences the unexpected and "freezes", this momentary freeze can be used to observe the situation, in order to determine how to proceed.
-
Cherry, Kendra. "How the Fight or Flight Response Works." Very Well Mind. August 2019.
Hopper, Jim. "Why Many Rape Victims Don’t Fight or Yell." The Washington Post. June 2015.
—-. "In Most Sexual Assaults, 'Defense Circuitry' Runs the Show." Psychology Today. December 2017.
—-. "Freezing During Sexual Assault and Harassment." Psychology Today. April 2018.
Miller, Rory. "Meditations on Violence." YMAA Publishing Centre. 2008.
Navarro, Joe and Marvin Karlins. "What Every Body Is Saying." HarperCollins. 2008.
Taylor, S. E., et al. “Bio-behavioral responses to stress in females: tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight.” Psychological Review, Vol. 107, No. 3, 411-429. 2000.
